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This CD is For Kevin

by marlon.

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1.
Sorry Kevin 00:43
2.
I've got a feeling that I might die today. Think I might lay in bed stay under the covers until it all goes away. Every last step, feels like a mine field. Every last breath I take I feel is slowly poisoning me in my sleep where ghastly fingers reach from the street at my feet to pull me down, down into the darkness. Trying my best to stat optimistic But it feels like the earth has shifted, twisted, fixed to split into three. The sun in the sky turns air to fire, raining it down my back as I gaze at the cold, rising sea. Foaming and writhing to catch me in its teeth wholly and swallow me down into the darkness It's that kind of day It's okay to go outside; everything will be alright pay no attention to the trees whose leaves are covered with eyes Entropy will have us all So there is no need to cry the thing about living is nobody ever makes it out alive There's something about the tune of the songbirds and whistling wind that bends these dim demonic hymns and tritones. In shadows I see the same hooded figures. In secret they meet to watch me close while drawing circles on stones and they drone a moan that seeks to fracture your soul and your bones and lead you down, down into the darkness It's that kind of day It's that kind of day where everything don't feel right and the wind cuts your skin like a rusty knife and you're thinkin of goin and givin the livin a rest know that you gave it your best but all of your efforts ain't stopping the heart being ripped from your chest that kind of day.
3.
v1 HAVE YO U SEEN MY TRUCK?? 36 inch tires lifted up higher I got wiener like Oscar Mayer Truck balls on the back hot chicks on my mud flaps No Fear decal, HOW YOU LIKE THAT?? Spray on some Axe and scope the club out for chickses when they see me they blow kisses 'cause they know my truck's the sickness. Chorus: HOW YOU LIKE MY TRUCK? chromed out wheels turbo diesel tires out peel makin chicks squeal HOW YOU LIKE MY TRUCK? ridin' heavy off-road ready but no dirt gets on my Chevy HOW YOU LIKE MY TRUCK? (insert band) blastin Blunt passin Pure Mackin Everlastin' Haters talkin smack in the McDonald's kitchen "Why you need all that truck?" To fit all my dick in! v2 Neon shocks make my ride pop and lock Imma doctor your muffin, true-to-life truckin watch my door unlock with the push of a button Got that from my cousin, real street stuntin GURL stop frontin' you know you want my nut sack ain't you seen this back bed? Ain't you seen my BIKE RACK? and on the interior I got a SPICE RACK Here, I cooked this burger on my engine GO HEAD, BITE THAT! Light's so bright that they blind a nig! Horn goes HONK; belt goes CLICK Ladies go "YO THAT RIDE IS SICK"! just wait 'til you see my dick. ​ hey trick! :chorus: bridge: Three and a half inches of pounding force it makes the angels sing Shines with the purest of light my rod of pleasure astounds without measure whether or not you're ready you need some luck It's the bomb (says so on my truck) v3 Slide to chronic tacos GET MY SNACK ON Choked out a couple haters cause they act wrong Talk to my bro 'bout how we love that Nickelback song gives me the hook up about a kick-back and I'm GONE. . . . Pull up to the party rockin Ed Hardy chick playin hard to get actin like a smarty then we take a couple of shots of that Bacardi gettin kind of flirty gettin kind of naughty head to the back room for a bit go to the leather couch and sit She takes a real good look at my dick and she leaves. . . 'Cuz she couldn't handle it. :chorus:
4.
Verse 1: I've got a girl, got a girl so beautiful How'd I ever get a catch like that, who'll know She shouts novels but speaks in brevities She's like a porn star from the seventies​ she hates beer 'cause she just drinks scotch when she's near me time just stops the passers by gotta look and watch they want a piece of what we've got if you're trying hard to make love grow you might find, it's waiting right under your nose Chorus: Oh, my baby has a mustache she's lovely in her way I tremble when her kisses brush my face I need her lovin every day my baby has a mustache I don't care what you say I hope she'll never ever shave Verse 2:​ ​She's so proper, distinguished she's got this Groucho Marx thing so cute if you've seen it How to describe her, that's simple she's like Audrey Hepburn meets Burt Reynolds she's the sweetest thing since ice met cream ​since night met dreams and all other nice things the angels sing when they hear her name, her eyes are lightning, her smile has bangs Chorus:​ Oh, my baby has a mustache she's lovely in her way I tremble when her kisses brush my face I need her lovin every day my baby has a mustache I don't care what you say Bridge: Razors make me hurl and wax is only to curl she's the most beautiful girl in the world Verse 3:​ she's like a cat with the whiskers to match she's got soul but she don't have a soul patch X4 I thank God for giving her the gift of a little caterpillar on the top of her lip Chorus:​ Oh, my baby has a mustache she's lovely in her way I tremble when her kisses brush my face I need her lovin every day my baby has a mustache I don't care what you say I hope she never ever shaves. Maybe one day we'll start a circus baby, I've got the clown feet, you'll be my bearded lady ​Oh, my baby has a mustache.
5.
I love people more than cakes and pies and lemon squares I love people more than bluegrass bands and teddybears I love all people for being people and that's a fact but I love Kevin Chenoweth more than that If Kevin was a flower I would water him all day I would kill a bear for Kevin and I know it's a cliche but I owned the planet I would only give the world away to my friend Kevbo if kevin were words, I'd always know what to say It's his birthday so bring out the cakes and candles It's his birthday we'll buy more drinks than he can hadle everybody have a toast to celibrate his birth cause he's the greatest ever living breathing person on the earth If Kevin was a violin I would learn how to play If Kevin was in prison I would push the warden out my way to be with Kevin all my life and in jail I would stay locked up with Kevin and even if we never got out, I'd be okay If Kev's niggas were in paris I'd be right there going cray If Kevinwas a blood then I'd throw all by blues away if Kevin was a grapefruit I'd put it in the microwave AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO IT in candle light while singing marvin gaye I've been really tryin , baby Tryin to hold back these feelings for so long And if you feel, like I feel baby Come on, oh come on, Let's celebrate his birthday bring out the cakes and candles It's Kev's birthday buy more drinks than he can hadle everybody have a toast to celibrate his birth cause he's the greatest ever living frikkin person on the earth
6.
I am a carnivore I am a dinosaur I am the great big unabashed tyrant lizard lord hotter than an ember there's no other contender amphibians must bow down mammalians surrender Neither borrower or lender I'm the alpha chordata rule the planet with an iron claw eat you with an iron jaw every inch of the world is my spa this is my cretaceous empire my every word is law You're ranked somewhere beneath my snot and the truth be told I cannot be stopped I own every mountain, every fern, rock every river, every valley from the grass to the tree tops-- what's that in the sky? it's beautiful sweet orb of light it's beautiful I know not from whence it came but it's obvious it's aim is to engulf all it touches into flames Suddenly I awake to see All I do is just beg and I plea let me die inside your warmth destroy me through and through dissolve me until all that's left of me is you let our love create a cloud so big that it blocks out the sun, oh, let me be a part of your sweet extinction. all I wanted to do was eat, sleep, reproduce live another moment 'til the moment that I saw you now it seems all I'm feeling is anything beyond this point would be meaningless You're all I ever need you're all I've ever seen that matters all else is faded and tattered you're hevenly and holy, take and own me vision our world's destiny, show me. I need you mostly, hold me closely can't help but feel this is the way the end's supposed to be in from the ocean out with an explosion the whole world changes with one swift fluid motion let me fall into your love your swift destruction raise the sea level crack the crust and forever scar the earth, destroy me through and through be scattered into mist is all I wanna do split the sky that lies behind you crush me until all that's left of me is rocket fuel so that I may be propelled into the sky and be ever closer to the origins of you no more pain, I just hear squeals of laughter standing her sixty-five million years after My cataclysmic fate, didn't notice the wait between the ice age, clean slates and carbon dates Out of the deep dark depths of nowhere all of these bipedal mammals are gathered to admire me, revere me, fear me, cheer me, hear me, clearly hold me dearly Fossil powered wheels, billion dollar movie deals TV shows, tee shirts, textiles and play bills museums in my name sake, just like cheese cake back on top of the world again like day break the all mighty titan, best of Michael Crichton about to grab this universe, take a bite, and ​chew it and spit it back, hang it on a rack ​inform the leopluradon the king is back ​ let me fall into your love your sweet destruction crack the crust and make volcanoes erupt​ until I'm dead inside your arms, destroy me through and through evaporate to mist is all I wanna do split the heavens that lie behind you​ and​ burn me until all that's left of me is molecules so that I may covalently bond with electrons orbiting the nucleus of you what's that in the sky? it's beautiful sweet orb of light it's beautiful I know not from whence it came but it's obvious it's aim is to engulf all it touches into flames Finally I awake to see in this moment all I do is beg and I plea let me die inside your warmth destroy me through and through dissolve me until all that's left of me is you let our love create a cloud so big that it blocks out the sun, oh, let me be a part of your sweet I​n my eyes everything's already dead and gone oh, let me be a part of your sweet This dry and withered Earth just needs to be renewed scatter all your colors and into it imbue captivate my soul and make it forever new consume me until all that proves of me is you
7.
You'd take the clothes off my back and I'd let you You'd steal the food right out my mouth and I'd watch you eat it I still don’t know why, why our love is so much, You curse my name, in spite to put me to shame Hang my laundry in the streets, dirty or clean, give it up for fame But I still don't know why, why I love it so much And baby, it's amazing I'm in this maze with you I just can't crack your code One day you screaming you love me loud The next day you're so cold One day you're here, one day you're there, one day you care You're so unfair, sipping from your cup 'til it runneth over, Holy Grail
8.
Olga 03:56
The Moscow winter's getting colder and the nights are growing long dreaming of being in the arms of a lover as I am closing up my lonely hair salon Somebody's bursting through the doorway a pistol shaking in a hand demands to open my cash register drawer up the heaving body of a wild eyed desperate man and so I Chorus Knock him to the floor and tie him tight with my hairdrier cord I tell him sit up straight and take his medicine I make him take it break him, I take him then I thank him and make sure he will never pull a stunt like this again Verse 2 I say "It's time you should be punished you can scream until your face turns blue to come in here and rob my place of employment, I think it's better if I take something from you" 1000 roubles for his troubles our escapades would las three nights go on and struggle my sweet little Zaychik Olga likes it better when a man puts up a fight Chorus Bridge I tell him Olga will never let you leave she'll buy you brand new jeans she'll hold your head and tell you every thing will be alright she'll keep you warm at night now do what Olga says if you value your sorry life Chorus
9.
When Love 02:00
when love grabs you by the balls it's squeezing you tight when love's pulling on the strings you are a sad sorry sack of submission and kissin of shopping and chickflicks and cuddling then you play your lame board games and give yourselves pet names sentimental and sappy and sickening, well I'd rather be alone than gross so I won't have nothing to do with love when love's flying through your lungs like pieces of glass when love's burning very hot you dance and you leap and go singing in the streets then love chokes you til you stop In tears you callapse you really thought it would last you invested so much and you spent so much cash, huh. I'd rather be alone than broke so I won't have nothing to do with love people act like it's the only thing that life's about when it effects no one but you with all the effort spent in dating games and match.com there's so much else that you can do Love's not climbing to the highest mountain Love's not becoming a king Love's not a triumphant battle cry or inventing the ebola vaccine but you say it's no lie when there's someone by your side on the day that you die you fly off to paradise I'd rather be an awesome ghost so I won't have nothing to do with love
10.
11.
Judgment Day 03:33
everything's shut down the power and trade you got your new system the dawning of a brand new age we've taken to looting I just play my songs half a hundred brilliant scientists and looks like they all were wrong ​ cause the whole thing malfunctioned within three bloody weeks The press asked for a statement but no one could speak and we're all on the street nuclear missiles launched for Russia you can't stop them they're all gone nothing left to do but wait for the retaliating bomb grab your glasses raise them high kiss your loved ones and say your last goodbyes​ cause the robots are coming. You read all the novels you saw all the films and scoffed at our worries but none of it was ever real until you invented the cause of over a billion deaths I'd grab you and shake show you your mistakes but I'm not sure there's any of you left Sold our species to the software for a medal and a song nothing left to do but wait for the retaliating bomb grab your glasses raise them high kiss your loved ones and say your last goodbyes cause the robots are coming With their glowing red eyes and their big bulky figures Did they think we couldn't see them for their rubbery disguise​ But still they catch us and they harvest our flesh even seeing the angel on his way we can't escape his steely death the robots are coming and you can't get away ​from judgment day​
12.
Now first you get yourself a nice ceramic plate hold it in your hand and kinda feel the weight then you haul right off and chuck it into space and that's how to build a flying saucer next you go and get a bunch of Christmas lights wrap em round yourself and tie em up real tight then try to eat a quarter stick of dynamite and that's how to build a flying saucer Oh woe is me Oh me oh my if you've seen what I've seen flying in the sky you might think it's over and you're gonna die but not if you have a flying saucer Just do what I say and not what I do and I promise you space will be good to you and right down the road when the day is through we'll both have a sweet flying saucer Next thing you do is grab a bunch of metal things melt 'em all together in the shape of rings ad a bunch of jet engine propellerings and that's how you build a flying saucer Next thing coming up right here's the tricky part grab yourself a goat, cut out it's little heart make a blood red circle and turn on the dark and that's how to build a flying saucer Oh woe is me Oh me oh my if you've seen what I've seen lighting up the sky you might think it's over and you're gonna die but to you I am making this offer Just do what I say and not what I do and I promise you space will be good to you and right down the road when the day is through we'll both have a sweet flying saucer Our work is done as the sun goes down Ah, we'll be in the history books now The next thing you do, is press this button, child Oh happy day Oh me oh my you just fell for my plan I'm such a clever guy You fools screwed the pooch now you're all gonna die at the hands of my new flying saucer My death ray is armed and your sobs are like beautiful songs from the lark at the crack of dawn now goodbye cruel world you all soon will be gone as I'm off in my sweet flying saucer Flying saucer Oh woe is me Oh me oh my if you've seen what I've seen lighting up the sky you might think it's over and you're gonna die but to you I am making this offer Just do what I'm saying and not what I do and I promise you I'll be so good to you and right down the road when the day is through we'll both have a sweet flying saucer Flying Saucer

about

Long ago, in December 2012 there was a guy named Keven who leaned in closely and spoke the words "My birthday is coming up... do you know what I want?"
I stepped back and looked cautiously at him
"I want a Marlon CD" he said.

Today, A year and two months later, on his birthday the CD is complete as a collection of stupid songs about death and love. In some cases both at the same time.

Dedicated to my favorite neckbeard.

credits

released February 22, 2014

All writing(except Holy Grail) and performances done by Marlon Barnes Jr. and recorded on his Thinkpad in Audacity.

Holy Grail was written by Jay-Z, The Dream, and Justin Timberlake

Special thanks to anyone who develops free software, my guitar Janis for always being there even when I couldn't play her, God and my parents for making me and making me feel like I should make things, Whoever invented paper, Ryan Wolanski and anyone else who offered to record me who I never got back to, Kory Adams who's helping me record my next one, Cody Wolfe for the How to Build a Flying Saucer prompt, Matt Barabasch for the "Franny's Gotta Dance" idea, Fran Galeazzi for being the reason anything good exists in the world, Laura Hemmenway, Raymy Krumrei, and Dan Bern for teaching me how to write and encouraging me to continue, Michelle Navarette for giving me a place to play pretty much being my first and biggest supporter. What is this, an Oscar speech? thanks Russia, for being crazy, Mike Mondok, the Nickbots, friends, anyone who talks to me
and of course, Kevin Chenoweth for being a good friend and giving me a realistic deadline.
also, sorry.

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Admiral Joseph Cappuccino Lancaster, California

A goof making music under the name of a fictional semi-immortal self-proclaimed pirate who will possibly never get a concept album written about him.

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